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Okay, about halfway through the weekend now, and even so the whole Wiscon was going by way too fast. Some fail today (even a little on my part *sad* and possible triggers ahead), but still a good day all in all.
Likely because I’m a glutton for punishment I got up early again to check out the “Etiquette of Self Promotion” panel. Most of the stuff I already knew (proving to myself I’m not as clueless on the topic as I often worry I am), but I did pick up a few new ideas and was even able to offer suggestions. It was worth getting up early for. :)
Here is a great write-up of the mentioned panel
Next was the panel on “Dealing with Your Male Answer Syndrome”, one I feared we were not near as prepared for as we’d hoped to be. It went off much better than I feared it would. John H. Kim was a fabulous moderator and no matter where the panelists or the audience took the conversation, he was able to keep us from tangenting too much. I think we ended up talking a lot about the reason behind the general need people have for needing to have an answer even when a question was not asked, and all in all it turned out well.
Before lunch I did find out about some fail that had me rolling my eyes. Prepare for rant!
C’mon folks! The name tags are there for a reason. If you are not sure about a person identity please do not make a guess based on who she or he might “kinda look like” That’s not only lazy, that’s damn insulting. Nor are the wonderful amount of POC Wiscon had in attendance there for ya’ll to be gawking at. This is not a zoo or a carnival, we are there for our pleasure, not white folks entertainment.
Rant over.
Great lunch at Noodles and Co, even though I made the poor folks there switch my meal for something less spicy. I admit I’m still very new at the vegetarian thing so still getting used to new dishes and spice levels. I had some kick ass conversations at lunch, and even though my daughter insisted on tagging along, she sat with her friends nearby so I was still able to talk grown up talk. I don’t get near enough of that sometimes.
I tried going to the “Going Native” panel, but the conversations turned a troublesome direction so I ended up ducking out to the Gender in YA panel which was packed to the door and I enjoyed. Next year maybe this one needs a bigger room. :)
I normally don’t do the academic tracks too much but I had to catch my new friend Kinitra Brooks and her wonderful presentation on “The Black Woman in the Land of Zombies” She did a bang up job, and I really enjoyed it. It was a good mixed between visual and audio, which works well for my learning style, plus as a speaker she had an engaging manner to her which makes a person want to listen.
I tried very hard to stay for the other presenter, but my lack of sleep was catching up on me by then and I really had trouble fighting the ADD fuzzy to focus. I headed out right after for food and to wake up some before my next panel.
“Take Back the Sci Fi” was supposed to be about rape culture in fiction and media, or so I thought, but it quickly shifted into many of us talking about our own survivor stories, which is a subject I hadn’t been prepared to talk about. I don’t mind talking about my past when I have some time to emotionally prepare myself to do so, and I get the feeling many of the other panelists felt the same way.
The largest fail was when the moderator (and I like her personally, but this was not a good topic for her to facilitate I think) began to take audience questions and then told the two men who had their hands up they would not be allowed to speak until the end…I was stunned at seeing these men silenced like that, stunned into complete enraged muteness. My emotions were so raw from talking about my own past abuse that I just couldn’t get anything to come out to speak out against the mods ruling.
This was my fail. Both men are friend and do not seem to be upset with me for my failure, but I and upset with myself for not speaking out right then and there. As much as some women want to insist rape and sexual assault is only an anti women based crime, this is untrue. Also, rape and sexual assault touches many lives, not just those of the victems...these crime effect families, friends, whole communities. Not only did the mod not know the history of the men she silenced, what they too might of suffered, the silencing assumed they as men had nothing to add to the conversation. For this reason and so many others I was wrong for not speaking up, and am very sorry for my part in that fail.
shadesong (my top choice for facilitator for conversations like this next year. The work she does is so very core to the children in her community and thier protection.), karnythia's pre-writeup and writeup posts
(I was thrilled to get to meet her this weekend and honored to be present while she shared her story. We are lucky to have such strong women in this community), hps_sterling (who was the one who spoke up against the mod's ruling, and for this I thank her profusely), asim (someone I was honored to get to know better this weekend and who I failed as a friend for not speaking up in defense of at this panel), and Trochai (who wrote a not to be missed post on his panel experiences here) have also written their experiences around this panel and I would urge you all to check out theirs as well, which are each far worth the time to read. I hope I didn't miss anyone who wrote post about this that need to be mentioned. If I did please poke me about them.
One positive thing that came out of what turned into a four hour conversation (one I unfortunately had to leave midway though to grab my child from childcare) was the realization that many of our community have been wounded and are in need of safe spaces to talk about these things, and well trained support to facilitate these conversations. It looks as though plans are being made for this for Wiscon next year, and for this I am deeply grateful. I said things in that room I haven’t admitted to many of my own family, and knowing that support was there would’ve made all the difference in the world.
After a bit of dinner I took my daughter to the hotel room and insisted we take a nap before the Fancy Dress party she was insisting on going to. Between lack of sleep and emotional exhaustion I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through the night with a socially active six year old, but the nap helped a little. I’m sure I had many conversation I only vaguely remember, but I’d say flirting with Vito was one of the most memorable. (wink) Thank’s to Z for keeping an I on my daughter so I could be more social than normal.
Along with deep heartfelt thanks to all of you that pulled be out of my shyness to make me fee welcome, I want to say thank too for those who put up with my nervous babbling. Late night once more but well worth the loss of sleep.
Likely because I’m a glutton for punishment I got up early again to check out the “Etiquette of Self Promotion” panel. Most of the stuff I already knew (proving to myself I’m not as clueless on the topic as I often worry I am), but I did pick up a few new ideas and was even able to offer suggestions. It was worth getting up early for. :)
Here is a great write-up of the mentioned panel
Next was the panel on “Dealing with Your Male Answer Syndrome”, one I feared we were not near as prepared for as we’d hoped to be. It went off much better than I feared it would. John H. Kim was a fabulous moderator and no matter where the panelists or the audience took the conversation, he was able to keep us from tangenting too much. I think we ended up talking a lot about the reason behind the general need people have for needing to have an answer even when a question was not asked, and all in all it turned out well.
Before lunch I did find out about some fail that had me rolling my eyes. Prepare for rant!
C’mon folks! The name tags are there for a reason. If you are not sure about a person identity please do not make a guess based on who she or he might “kinda look like” That’s not only lazy, that’s damn insulting. Nor are the wonderful amount of POC Wiscon had in attendance there for ya’ll to be gawking at. This is not a zoo or a carnival, we are there for our pleasure, not white folks entertainment.
Rant over.
Great lunch at Noodles and Co, even though I made the poor folks there switch my meal for something less spicy. I admit I’m still very new at the vegetarian thing so still getting used to new dishes and spice levels. I had some kick ass conversations at lunch, and even though my daughter insisted on tagging along, she sat with her friends nearby so I was still able to talk grown up talk. I don’t get near enough of that sometimes.
I tried going to the “Going Native” panel, but the conversations turned a troublesome direction so I ended up ducking out to the Gender in YA panel which was packed to the door and I enjoyed. Next year maybe this one needs a bigger room. :)
I normally don’t do the academic tracks too much but I had to catch my new friend Kinitra Brooks and her wonderful presentation on “The Black Woman in the Land of Zombies” She did a bang up job, and I really enjoyed it. It was a good mixed between visual and audio, which works well for my learning style, plus as a speaker she had an engaging manner to her which makes a person want to listen.
I tried very hard to stay for the other presenter, but my lack of sleep was catching up on me by then and I really had trouble fighting the ADD fuzzy to focus. I headed out right after for food and to wake up some before my next panel.
“Take Back the Sci Fi” was supposed to be about rape culture in fiction and media, or so I thought, but it quickly shifted into many of us talking about our own survivor stories, which is a subject I hadn’t been prepared to talk about. I don’t mind talking about my past when I have some time to emotionally prepare myself to do so, and I get the feeling many of the other panelists felt the same way.
The largest fail was when the moderator (and I like her personally, but this was not a good topic for her to facilitate I think) began to take audience questions and then told the two men who had their hands up they would not be allowed to speak until the end…I was stunned at seeing these men silenced like that, stunned into complete enraged muteness. My emotions were so raw from talking about my own past abuse that I just couldn’t get anything to come out to speak out against the mods ruling.
This was my fail. Both men are friend and do not seem to be upset with me for my failure, but I and upset with myself for not speaking out right then and there. As much as some women want to insist rape and sexual assault is only an anti women based crime, this is untrue. Also, rape and sexual assault touches many lives, not just those of the victems...these crime effect families, friends, whole communities. Not only did the mod not know the history of the men she silenced, what they too might of suffered, the silencing assumed they as men had nothing to add to the conversation. For this reason and so many others I was wrong for not speaking up, and am very sorry for my part in that fail.
shadesong (my top choice for facilitator for conversations like this next year. The work she does is so very core to the children in her community and thier protection.), karnythia's pre-writeup and writeup posts
(I was thrilled to get to meet her this weekend and honored to be present while she shared her story. We are lucky to have such strong women in this community), hps_sterling (who was the one who spoke up against the mod's ruling, and for this I thank her profusely), asim (someone I was honored to get to know better this weekend and who I failed as a friend for not speaking up in defense of at this panel), and Trochai (who wrote a not to be missed post on his panel experiences here) have also written their experiences around this panel and I would urge you all to check out theirs as well, which are each far worth the time to read. I hope I didn't miss anyone who wrote post about this that need to be mentioned. If I did please poke me about them.
One positive thing that came out of what turned into a four hour conversation (one I unfortunately had to leave midway though to grab my child from childcare) was the realization that many of our community have been wounded and are in need of safe spaces to talk about these things, and well trained support to facilitate these conversations. It looks as though plans are being made for this for Wiscon next year, and for this I am deeply grateful. I said things in that room I haven’t admitted to many of my own family, and knowing that support was there would’ve made all the difference in the world.
After a bit of dinner I took my daughter to the hotel room and insisted we take a nap before the Fancy Dress party she was insisting on going to. Between lack of sleep and emotional exhaustion I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through the night with a socially active six year old, but the nap helped a little. I’m sure I had many conversation I only vaguely remember, but I’d say flirting with Vito was one of the most memorable. (wink) Thank’s to Z for keeping an I on my daughter so I could be more social than normal.
Along with deep heartfelt thanks to all of you that pulled be out of my shyness to make me fee welcome, I want to say thank too for those who put up with my nervous babbling. Late night once more but well worth the loss of sleep.
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